Liberation

This year's Christmas is like none other for me. Three things factor into the change:
1. This is my first Christmas without Dad.
2. This is my first Christmas without my daughter.
3. This is the first Christmas I haven't bought any gifts. Not a single one.

I had major unexpected expenses this month - $797 to be exact - paying an insurance deductible and buying my daughter a last minute ticket to fly here for her grandfather's funeral. That money had been my Christmas budget plus some utility bills. No cash is left over for gifts. And after a year of listening to Dave Ramsey, there is no way I'm putting anything on the credit card. I would rather be perceived as a Scrooge before I charged a gift that someone will open, smile at, then never use.

Because the daughter is spending Christmas elsewhere, I have felt no compulsion to buy her anything. It would be too costly and difficult for her to receive the gift then ship it back to her home from her current locale.

Dad's death has put a damper on things, too. No decorations have been pulled out, no tree set up and no fruitcake baked. Without him here, those other things just don't seem to be as important anymore.

With that said, I have felt an unexpected liberation from consumerism this year and it is a nice feeling. I haven't felt the stress or pressure of trying to remember who I've forgotten, I haven't fought the cars and people at the malls, and I'm classifying this as a guilty pleasure.